Thoughts on Marriage So Far
via Flickr (not me!)
I used
to have a single’s blog.  I removed it a
few years ago because being single was no longer a big factor in my life and I
got tired of blogging about it.  It used
to be a big part of who I was.  Damn it
was hard being single raising two kids. 
 So I started this blog.  It’s supposed to be a writing blog, but I gave
myself permission to write about anything and everything I wanted, even though I
know niche blogs do better in the long run. But I knew if I only blogged about writing I’d get bored. I like to write, but I don’t necessarily like to write
about writing.
Anyways,
once I stopped focusing on being single, I found the man I was destined to
marry. We’ve been married for six months and we’ve been together for 2.5 years.
I am in no way an expert on marriage, but here is what I’ve learned so far.
1.      
Plans change. We both had pictures in our heads of our future.  God laughed at us. I had a picture of us
working together to pay off debt and then living a happy carefree life.  He had a picture of us traveling the world because
for the first two years we bonded over traveling.
But he lost his job two weeks before the wedding and
decided to go back to school full-time. I decided to stop traveling to pay off
debt. It goes without say, him not have a job impacted my get out of debt plan,
and my get out of debt plan impacted his dreams of traveling. 
It’s been rough.  I’m not happy with him not working, but I support
him because I know in the end we’ll end up in a good spot. Penelope Trunk
recently wrote, “We both know that good marriages require two people who are able to be kind to each other even if things are crumbling around us.” So far my husband and I are still being nice to each other.  We’re still hugging and kissing. Six months down a
lifetime to go.
2.      
Having somewhere there doesn’t 
make all of your problems go away
. Things still break and don’t get
fixed in a timely manner. The yard may
not get mowed. Dishes stay in the sink longer than they should. Wires get crossed. Communication fails. No on is perfect. 
3.       Having the right person does make things easier. I’ve
made a lot of changes over the past couple of years, and most of them have been
made because I had a partner and someone to encourage me.
Only
three lessons after six months; damn that’s not much. But the rules of a good
marriage aren’t hard, it’s living the rules that’s hard.

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