What’s in a blurb?

Recently,  I joined the Blogger Book Fair.   As part of the Book Fair, I had to choose between dozens of books based on book blurga.  After reading Katie Cross’s book blurb for Miss Mabel’s School For Girl, I was wondering what makes a good book blurb?  So as I read through the book blurbs I noticed I was looking for:

1.  Original Plot. I know there is nothing original under the sun. But you have to pretend your book is original. So emphasize what makes your book different. Sometimes that means having to play up the characters.

2. Sexual tension or sex and/or a little bit of romance.  So the blurb has to be sexy.  I used to be guilty about the wanting things to be sexy, but I’ve listened to enough NPR to know that sex and violence stimulates the brain. I am only a typical human.

The following are the books I chose based on my desire to read something original and sexy. What do you think?  What turns you on when it comes to blurbs?

BTW, Come back July 22 – 26 for my reviews.  Will these books be as good as their blurbs?.?.?.?.

Fifty Shades of Jungle Fever by L. V. Lewis.  

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY to the second power meets Keisha and Jada from the Block.

If you’ve wondered how an ethnic girl from the hood might’ve handled an arrangement with an experienced white Dominant, this is your book. If you’d like to see the sexiest TWIN DOMS in a contemporary romance series in interracial relationships, this is most definitely your book.

The saints favor her, else-wise a peasant girl like Kate Carpenter would never be apprenticed to the kingdom’s master healer. But her patron saint also marks her ready for the duty of tending to a mission that must cross the ice-bound mountains. Their little kingdom faces invasion by a vast empire and desperately needs allies; across the snow-filled pass, through the deathly thin air, is a country that’s held off the empire and may be willing to lend an army.

Kate knows about frostbite and the everyday injuries of wilderness travel. She can heal those.
She’s not ready for the attentions of a ne’er-do-well knight and the kingdom’s only prince, though.

And she isn’t ready for the monsters that harry them night and day, picking off their archers first, wearing the party to exhaustion, pushing Kate beyond the limits her healing abilities.

She must keep them alive, or her blood will be on the snow too.

Peter Stoller is a consummate professional–as a British intelligence agent, he’s at the top of his game and has never had trouble separating his work from his personal life. But when he meets cabbie Charles Toulson, his personal life takes a turn he wasn’t expecting. Now Peter must decide: should he trust his instincts, or his heart?
Part espionage tale, part character study, and part love story, “St. Peter in Chains” is the first in a series of novellas following the adventures of a spy unlike any other.

Leather to the Corinthians is an absurd postmodern fable that defiantly flips a middle finger at modern American life. Through the perspectives of its multiple characters, it explores the absurdities of organized religion, the military, big business, fast food, advertising, sex, and the media. Witty, with bitter undertones, its story possesses a satirical spirit. Read on to experience the madness…
Gather round all you tattooed, lost soul wandering, Wi-Fi/Lo-Fi mutants! Come! Come listen to the hypnotic beat of my drum! Join me on trip to the Village, a strange and surreal place, where an epic battle will determine the fate of the human race! The GENERAL is determined to win this war as the insane clown insurgent wants to settle a score! He’s got a bone to pick with his nemesis the KING, the mad ruler of the Village who only cares about celebrity status and bling! You’ll meet a young SOLDIER, who fights to survive the melee, losing his humanity along the way!

 At the root of this evil is the sinister SELL INC., whose CEO’s implants light up when he blinks! Then there’s poor PETER, the dull corporate drone who only wished to be left alone. His boss sends him on a mission to shut the Limp Pigeon down, what a pity since it’s the only good sex club in town. But alas! Good news! The pigeon is set free, when Peter discovers a vixen of virtual reality—not to mention the fulfillment of a very special fantasy!

Folks, I know you that you must be feeling the stress, of this big post-apocalyptic mess, but no worries as you’ll cruise with SCRATCH MICROPHONE, who’ll make sure to get you out of the danger zone. Just take a pill and you’ll chill with his mellow vibe as he leads the good people of his DODGE TRIBE.

 Now, if you stay faithful through this crazy crusade, then you’ll earn FR. EVERHARD’s eternal praise, and that’s a slam dunk in the eyes of the BIG RED J! Hey, why not become an Official Sidekick today?

Friends, I know you may be feeling that life is a curse, but listen up—it could always be worse!
Your Gratitude Should Really Begin Now.

Honorable Mention.  I chose this book because I liked the authors other works.  But they were too long and I didn’t think I would be able to finish any of the others in time for the book fair.

Picture book for ages 8 and up. 

Having learned from Mama that the world is filled with things that do what they please like the moon and the cat, eight-year-old Tess wonders why she and Mama are constantly told what to do. They are told when to play, when to eat, and even when to sleep. Mama gently explains that they are slaves and are told what to do because they are owned by the couple in the big house whose fields they work. But Tess realizes that a person can never truly be owned. The master cannot control her mind or her heart. 

This is a tender story that tells of the heartbreak of slavery and one little girl’s powerful plea for freedom.

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