Fetishes and Fantasies
I spent the
weekend “falling in like” with someone.– O_o– so I’m behind on my blog posts
and writing (for shame).  We’ll see how
this relationship goes.  I usually go two years
between boyfriends, but this time its only been a few months.  So now I’m feeling
like one of those girls that always has to have a boyfriend.  But whatever, I’ll get over it, I’m not gonna
pass up a good guy because I’m scared of being labeled needy.
Back to the
topic of the day.  One of my critique
partners asked me if it was a coincidence that Chalcedony and Coal both had
mineral names.  Yes, it is.  She gave me the name Chalcedony years ago,
but I thought Chalcedony was some type of flower.  And I never thought of  Coal as a mineral–but duh it is.  It’s funny how things connect.
Why did I
name my protagonist Coal?  Just like the
concept of  a book can take years to percolate in the subconscious
before it becomes conscious, the same thing happened with Coal.  I used to be more than a little bit in love
with dark skin.  My first boyfriends
(Joseph, George, and Chris) had some of the darkest skin possible.  They were also very muscular (I love me some
muscles too). Out of that I developed a fetish. 
In my circle/culture/community (I’m never really sure how to phrase this
because my black experience may not be the same as someone else).   If you’re dark, you’re gonna be clowned
about it.  Shoot, you’re already black,
but then to the blackest black is a whole ‘nother obstacle and a reason for
people to put a down. But  I’ve always loved it.  ‘Tis beautiful, yo.
So the
character Coal is my ode to dark-skinned men and indulging in my fetish.  BTW, I haven’t seriously  dated a dark-skinned man  in like eight years.  I’ve learned to look pass skin color.
I read
somewhere that one of the reasons that Edward Cullen from Twilight is popular because he says and does absolutely everything that every girl/woman wants to
hear.  He is totally devoted and will do
anything for Bella.  Edward Cullen is nothing but pure fantasy.  That clicked with
me, and I realized Coal was absolutely my Edward Cullen.  Coal will do anything for Chalcedony- except
what he knows to be wrong.  He has a
limit and that’s sexy to me.  I want a
man to be totally devoted to me, but will call me on my BS.  A beautiful black man with a backbone.  Coal is my fantasy and creating a character
like that is so much fun to work with.
I’m rambling. 

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